Ailani Yomeili

I Win (:

2008-06-26T09:26:32Z

It's friggen 5:20 in the goddamn morning. I cannot believe iam awake right now and know that iam in existance. Me and [other] got pissy rediculously drunk yesterday. Well, apparently we did not or it's by God's grace that I do not have a hangover right now. I came home and slept. Been up since 3:45. What I can say for sure though, is that I got what I wanted (: (which would be [other]) Moral of this entry ? I can hold my liquor and I always, ALWAYS get what I want .end.

Periods are gross.

2008-06-11T03:42:47Z

I do not care that we are both females and iam your best friend. I still do not want to hear about a thick yet sometimes watery mass of blood gushing out of your vagina. Now, iam so quick to want to watch a movie that involves a lot of stabbing and peoples intestines being ripped out through their faces, but bleeding from your vagina is just so ewk to me. I know. I bleed from that area every month myself. And it disgusts the hell out of me. I just do not find it necessary. I mean I know that shit in there gotta come out but why it gotta be blood. Why can't it just come out with your piss and call it a day. Blood is blood but it's just nasty down there. Especially if you that female that don't keep your shit on the up and you stay smelling like a seafood entre that's been sitting in the sun for days. I know you thinking, why am I talking about something so nasty and inappropiate, but it was on my mind and had to get it out. Periods are disgusting and should not exist. .end.

Ugh. It's not even summer yet !

2008-06-10T14:21:25Z

It's 94 degrees and it's only 10am. And I do not appreciate it being 89 degrees when I was trying to sleep at 3 o'clock in the morning. Why is it that hot after midnight !? Why is it this hot period ? I do not appreciate the heat. Better than it being 50 degrees though. ::shrugs:: Father is mad. He is outside taking sticky crapola off of his front windows. He got a ticket for having them tinted. My father has had that car for 10 months and now all of a sudden they want to ticket him for his tinted windows ? Dorks. I wouldn't have taken it off father. I would have been obnoxious and let that shit alone. Iam extremely sick and trying to avoid going to the hospital. I missed 2 days of work and tomorrow will be 3 if this keeps up. Grrr. It's fuh-reaking hot in here. Time to go sit in front of the a.c. ? Yes.

UHM..

2008-06-07T10:14:10Z

It is bothering me that that post time said 10 something am when it is definately 615am. Fag. K. That's it.

ailani_yomeili @ 2008-06-07T06:09:00

2008-06-07T10:09:03Z

I been up since 5am and it's only 6 right now but it feels like days passed and these birds are fcken loud and obnoxious as all fck. I got hit on by a 70yr old man yesterday. And the day before. And the day before. He keeps coming into my job talken about some hey sexy let me get that number so I can hit that. Vomit factor ? YES ! Like dude, if you don't get your viagra smellin ass up outta here..I'm not down with that nope. I'm starting to hate technology more than I already did. I been through 3 new phone in 2 weeks kause they keep sending me defective shit. I'm downright fcken mad. This one iam on hardly works without shutten off on me. GRRR. I want to stab people. Goodbye

Clinton

2008-06-05T01:58:49Z

Hillary Clinton dropped out of the presidential race.
All I have to say is :
LMAO !!
Why didn't she do that months ago..

True Feelings

2008-06-02T13:51:27Z

You can't make someone love you. I think I knew that..years ago. I forgot ? Yea. That's it. I forgot. I guess it's what happens when you're so caught up in trying to be happy. Kause apparently, iam so damn selfish for that. So damn selfish because I want to be happy. And iam sooo wrong for still loving him. I wish someone had told me that you're not supposed to be honest about how you feel for someone because they will only turn it against you and hurt you. I know better now.

HIM, him, and she

2008-06-01T12:47:57Z

It is 8am and as I lie here and eat CHEEZ-ITs for breakfast and read a book with no point, I think about him, and I think about HIM. And she is also on my mind, what a hypocrite iam. I love HIM but I want him, him wants me and HIM seems to no longer acknowledge me. Him is unsure and wants to remain emotionless and so I agree that I must also, so I tell her iam a void and want to keep it that way, not telling her that I have no intentions of love and I want only him. Ugh, confusing ? Somewhat. I think entirely too much. If only HE would speak to me and he would love me and she would leave me alone, I would be happy. Along with getting another job. So that sums up my week.

SNITCH YAHH TRICK !

2008-05-29T11:15:00Z

I have such terrible luck with computers. Yes, it's broken again, so I've been forced to download LJ to my phone. Thank God for QWERTY. My dad has even begun to call me Murphy, as in Murphy's Law. Which is funny kause it reminded me of Jessica Alba in that movie Good Luck Chuck (which was hilarious btw), and my dad has never seen it. Anywho. I been having nutten but some drama the past few days. Clint keeps harrassing me and threatening me as if he's not already in enough trouble with the law and he is stupid because he's on electronic monitoring and his phone is tapped..the one he's using to call me and leave me voicemails calling me a stupid bitch and saying he's gona stomp my face and do other such violent things (lol). And in my head iam like..you dummy ! They can hear you. But iam not going to tell him that he can continue being an idiot. Uhm psycho ex gf stalking me again. Once again telling me how she loves me o so much and wants to be with me. All I can say is, don't forget I

A Great End to a Bad Beginning

2008-05-24T01:50:26Z

Worked sucked today because of Jackie, my supervisor.
I hate working the days she works which is Friday-Monday. She always makes my days miserable. It's so hard not to stab her in the face and twist, turn, and shove the knife while it's in her eyeball. She just pisses me off. Just because she has a special title, she just feels free to treat people like shit. And it's just aggravating because she's the type of people that I hate; the ones that don't do shit because they're lazy but has the nerve to tell other people what to do and yell at them if they're not doing it the way she wants it done. And time and time again I've told her, I do shit the way I want when I want. You want it done your way then get off your fat lazy ass and do it yourself. Smh. Even the personnel manager told her to lay off me because she was being unnecessary. Just straight up unnecessary. Ugh.

Then I had to leave work a half hour early. First off, stupid me I assumed I was getting off at a certain time because I did all week, but today was a half hour longer than the other days. And I did not even know until I got into work. And I had to tell the manager I had to leave early because I had to go to my sister's house to be there for my nephew because he had a half day at school and no one would be there to watch him. She basically blamed me for not paying close attention to my schedule for today, and it's true. I didn't pay attention. I kinda felt bad...almost kinda. Then the friggen cab took forever to get to my job and pick me up, by the time I got to my sister's house, I coulda finished my shift and stayed an extra few minutes ! And poor Jeremiah, my nephew, he was locked out of the house. My sister had left it unlocked for when he got home, but her husband is a moron, came home and when he left he locked the door. Jay musta been out there a whole hour before I got there. I felt so bad because he was crying and I was so pissed off because he told me that the building manager wouldn't let him in because he wasn't 16. And I feel that was fcked up because he's only 7 ! He left a fcking 7 year old outside by himself for a whole hour. So I had to call my sister so she can come home and let us in. And she was so mad she didn't even go back to work.

After that, we went and got our nails done. I feel so strange because the last time I had them done was last year for prom.
Let me tell you. My sister and I cannot be out in public without adult supervision. We act like straight up fools. Laughing at retarted stuff and talking about people. Going into stores and touching things we cannot afford. Just being hecka loud and rowdy. You woulda thought we were a couple 14 yr olds and she's 28 ! We just too wild. We went to the mall, actually found clips for our phones that we just got. And thank God because Lord knows I can break stuff so easily. We were in target talking mad shit about some ugly mexican in the electronics department. Come to realize he was one of my exs. Lmao. Iono what happened to him. He used to be cute. At least I think he used to be..iono. That was 2 maybe 3 years ago. He sure looked very far from attractive. Then we went to FYE and bought some cd's and while I'm at the checkout my sister is touching all the magazines and talking about Kelly Rowland's barely noticeable boob job and the cashier is laughing his ass of.
Then we went to Taco Bell. It was a pure mess and the funniest moment of the day. First of all, we get into the drive-thru and my sister is talking into the machine like a 30 yr old soccer mom in her white girl voice and I'm just screaming stop talking like that and you can hear the guy on the other end laughing at us while my sister and I are damn near pissing our pants. Then we drive up to the window to pay and get our food and the boy that was there we started hitting on him hella ! My sister just blurts out "ooh you're cute ! you got some pretty ass eyes" and I was like yea you are cute and he's like thank you and goes to fix our drinks and as I notice him blushing my sister whispers to me ooh he got a big booty ! I look and sho'nuff, baby boy had a fatty. I wanted to touch it lol. And I was like "Ooh how old is him" yes I speak great english (I was just being retarted) and my sister was like My sister wana know how old you are and he's like 16 and I was like ooh sorry baby you too young call me in 2 yrs and my sister was like ooh I'll take him young and she was like nah I got kids your age and I'm like dang no you don't (the oldest is only 7) and I was like you making him think you're like 40 and he looks directly at me and is like I'll be 17 in two weeks and I was like ooh call me in a year then and then my sister was like o well I'll be back in two weeks and he's all laughing and blushing and we keep telling him how cute he is and everything and I was like maybe I will come back in two weeks and he was like okay I was about to ask him for his number but all 3 of us were just laughing like friggen crackheads and blah blah shit was fcken hilarious had to be there kinda thing I guess but on our way back to my house my sister was like he really was cute though with his pretty eyes and I was like yep shit I might just go bak in two weeks and get at him and my sister being the idiot she is said how she's gona go home and tell her husband she's about to cheat on him with at 16 yr old and I'm all lmao kause she always talking about how she gona have an affair with all these good looking guys.

K. That was it I guess lol.
Today was interesting.
Like I said. A great end to a bad beginning..

"I Remember" Keyshia Cole

2008-05-16T02:07:34Z

6 Feet Under.

2008-05-12T20:24:59Z

People are dying like it's "the thing" nowadays, I swear.
First it was being gay/bi. Every other person was coming out of the closet. And now it seems like (at least in my life it is) that everyone is dying left and right like it's so cool and you'll be the most popular kid in town. Smh. I've lost about 8 people who were very close to me in the past 3 years. What the hell is going on ? 3 years ago in March, a good friend of mine, Trent, was shot and killed in a drive-by. People were so quick to say that it was an accident and the shooter was looking for someone else (as if that makes it any better). That was almost believeable, except that how could they say that and not know who the shooter was ? Now last Tuesday, Trent's younger brother Jeff was shot and killed in a drive-by. Once again "the shooter was looking for someone else" and once again, they don't know who the shooter is. Now.....am I the only one who thinks that this was no coincidence ? It's just kind of--odd to me that one gets killed in a drive-by and then 3 years later his little brother gets killed in a drive-by. And "the shooter was looking for someone else". That shit just seems fishy to me. Especially if THEY DON'T KNOW WHO THE SHOOTER IS. I'm hella confused about this shit. And going through it. Jeff made number 8.

Hella Hatin' On My Hello Kitty Bandaid

2008-05-12T03:51:33Z

Season For Love.

2008-04-28T03:21:06Z

Spring. I hate it.
Besides the fact that it's allergy season and I suffer and prone to death.
I hate it because..apparently, it is the season for love. I'm sick of seeing people hooking up and being all lovey dovey happy-happy whatever. All out in the public, on movies and shows..all you see is people cuddling and kissing and being happy. Even some of my friends and cousins. Well you know what ? Fck y'all. If my relationship is a mess and I'm unhappy, y'all should be too. Yea, I'm a selfish mother fcker and I don't care. I keep seeing people kissing each other and it's like dang..I wana kiss my boyfriend..and I couples hugging..I wana hug mine. I see people smiling and being struck by Cupid. Well Cupid, I hope you get shot and your fcking wings burned.

End.

Odd Dream..

2008-04-27T11:58:30Z

I had this hella weird dream last night.
It was from this one episode of Full House where Stephanie was putting a blouse on her pillow and telling DJ that she was afraid to get lice. But in my dream, she told DJ that was was afraid to get an STD. DJ told her she couldn't get it through her pillow but Stephanie said that she was pregnant and there was something wrong with the pillow.

Now you know me. Everything I dream about relates to something..but I just don't know what..yet.
The dream was very confusing. Stephanie was like 10 in that episode. The first person I thought of was my baby sister who is 11 because Stephanie reminds me so much of her (curly hair, the way she talks, her eyes); but I immediately threw that out of my head because ...well come on she's 11. So I don't know..and I'm not going to let it go til I figure it out. & I will figure it out..

It's Been So Damn Hard..

2008-04-27T01:32:53Z

One year ago today on April 26, 2007, my baby was taken from me.
Nothing has been able to take away this pain and nothing ever will.
Forever my heart will be broken, forever he will be loved, missed, and memories cherished.

RiP My Angel, Christian J A. Melendez

Wow omg lol

2008-04-21T20:10:01Z

This person named Rhayne just hit me up on yahoo, telling me that he just finished up an article on me on this online magazine for music and fashion. I was quite impressed with it because he put my song Never Love as his favorite and I just uploaded that like no more than an hour or 2 ago. He said he was searching like crazy. & I could tell he was. Iam like totally flattered. Take a look (:
: http://pmqnmusic.blogspot.com/

I Want It !

2008-04-18T14:48:26Z

Iam so set on buying this phone in a few weeks when I get the money up.
I want it so bad..I had a dream about it last night lmao.
I've never had a dream about an electronic device in my life.
Now I think I know how my dad must feel haha

ailani_yomeili @ 2008-04-17T16:44:00

2008-04-17T20:50:30Z

I haven't seen my brother in almost 3 months just about.
& you know what ? I miss him.
Yep. I admit it. I miss my big bro. Whenever I'm around him, I can't wait for him to leave. I was happy when he was gone..the first like 6weeks..and now..I miss that punk ass. I just keep hoping that he'll bust through my bedroom door, squeeze me in that hug of his that crushes me and throw me down like he always does. Yea. I miss the torment. I can't believe..that I actually miss him. I just wana see him for one day..so I can give him a hug..then tell him to get the fck out (:

well. the weather is absolutely gorgeous today. 75 and sunny. I'll guess I'll go out for a bit.
Bye-bye now.

Stay Down

2008-04-17T15:10:46Z

I just heard Mary J. Blige's song "Stay Down" & iono..it really made me think about some stuff that I should have before..and ima just keep holding on kause in the end it's gona be well worth it. I think I kinda always knew that, but I was just too stubborn to actually realize it and take it into perspective but I really need to look at things differently and stop looking so much at the bad.

"Stay down; we're almost to the very best part..stay down, the drama will not last forever. I know it ain't been the best, but it certainly hasn't been the worst."

iRock Like Duh .!!

2008-04-15T23:20:26Z

Hm.
Today was quite the ..interesting day.
First, I could have kicked my dad for waking me up a half hour earlier than I intended for work. But it turned out to be good because with that extra half hour I was extra cute today. I'm usually..cute. But today, I was extra cute (: [haha]. Anyway. I got to work at like 9..and ended up leaving at like 130..which was 4 hours early because some dip-shit babysitter can't take care of kids and I had to go to the hospital to save my baby and slap the hoe. After that, I didn't even bother going back to work. I was so pissed.

Then Branden hit me up..I know y'all remember him. The man who named me "Freak Booty" ha. Well anyway, I hadn't seen or talked to Branden since..a few days after that time he saw Hezekiah and I at the mall..lol which was back in November. So yea we talked and he wanted to chill so he picked me up and I went over to his place..sat in his room and talked..watched a movie..well the movie watched us most of the time. And..stuff so yea haha hmm. So yea he just dropped me off here not too long ago.

And nowwwwww I'm sitting here trying to enjoy the rest of my day. I'm in an unusual good mood so I DARE someone to ruin it or they will get cut the fck up (:

But let me tell ya. I had one brazy battle with myself today with Branden. An emotional one. It was like..without him trying he made me realize some things about myself. Some things I'm not proud of, and some things that..are of concern..but there were a lot of good points. Not going to go all into it but I'm just glad I got him around. It was so easy to open up to him. And you know, everyone needs some people like that in their lives.

Hmm well I guess that's it for right now. I'm going to make an attempt at talking to Hezekiah about some things..:: rolls eyes :: This should be fun (: psyche.

P.S. Fck cute. I'm gorgeous (:

Choices

2008-04-12T01:13:46Z

As children and growing up, we were always taught to make the best choices for ourselves by our parents, or whomever your parental figure/role model was. Some were hard, and some were fairly easy. But have you ever had to make a decision when it is so hard to make one when in either choice, you go wrong ? That's where I stand now. I've come down this road before but the choice I ended up making I was happy with in the end because it was what I needed. This one, not so simple. I know exactly what I need..if I go one way, I only get half, if I go the other--I get the other half. And there is no real better half because they are both equally important to me. But it's not the matter of the good in both sides, it is the matter in the bad. Either way will end in the same result. Being unhappy and hurt. But I always have been my whole entire life so it shouldn't matter, right ? Wrong. I want to be happy. And it seems like, everytime I seem to set on the right path, something always comes in my way. And that something either always sets me back, or deters me off that road. Everyday that road is getting longer..and longer..like a never ending journey. Iam so torn.

No More Grr (:

2008-04-09T11:35:23Z

I took an exacto knife and stabbed the power button and it came on (:
That was easy.
But I don't want to have to do that again.

I'm still mad I woke up at 640 though.
The one night where I get some sleep, I only sleep for 3 hrs. Even though its only an hour or 2 less than usual, its a big difference. I guess kause its right now only 730. I'm usually up by 913. yes, 913. always. I know. I'm weird. My body is just like that ? Yo no se. I just now I got a long ass day ahead of me..

Grrr

2008-04-09T11:22:54Z

iam so mad.
because my cell phone is extra super retarted. besides the fact that it doesn't work. lately, the stupid battery doesn't stay charged for more than like 6 hours even though the damn phone isn't even being used. and i have to keep the stupid thing on since apparently the buttons don't work. and i need it to stay on, so when i get my new phone, i can take it to get all of my contacts transferred. tell me why i wake up this morning and my phone is shutting off. i'm guessing the battery had died ? when i KNOW i had the thing charging ALL DAY yesterday and i swear it was on the charger when i went to sleep so iam very curious as to what happened. if i don't figure out some kind of way to get this damn thing to turn on, iam going to seriously cry. i have over 250 contacts in my phone and YES i do need them ALL.

and also.
I'M MAD THAT I WOKE UP AT 640 !!

Poems.

2008-04-09T03:43:56Z

I Miss You

I’ve run out complicated theories
so now I’m taking back my words
I’m preparing for the breakdown
Your t-shirt lost its smell of you
and the bathroom’s still a mess
Remind me why we decided this was for the best...

Because I miss you love

I know the distance is a factor
but I stretch as often as I can
I hope to reach your hands any day now

Please don’t blame me for trying,
to fix this one last time
I have a hard time as it is

Because I miss you love

Don’t act like you don’t know me
It’s still me, I haven’t changed
I’ll be here when you come back

And I miss you love..

Untitled

tell me what would you do if someone told you they loved you?
you were the last thing on their mind every night and first when they woke up?

how would you respond if a person you barely knew said that they had never met anyone like you
and wanted to be with you.. just be close to you..

what would you do if the one you hold closest was the one farthest away?
how would you feel? would you change evrything or just try to let it go?

i never thought that was too much...

maybe he's just not right..
maybe i was too harsh..
maybe ..maybe..
thats all i can say..
i can't take it back.. it was so long ago..
i hurt him, he hurt me, we both hurt the rest of them..
why is this so cruel..
if parting is such sweet sorrow i have yet to taste the tiniest morsel of sugar upon my starved lips..

to have loved and lost is better than to never have loved?
i should think not, for one who has never loved knows not the pain of the loss when it crashes down upon them like a thundering rogue wave on their small life raft
this raft that we cling to so desperately in the hopes of freedom only weighs us down in the end
we try to keep it afloat as we slowly sink to the quick, if we only realized that in letting go we could stay afloat, and ride the waves to shores of unknown beauty

i think therefore i am..
this deos not always apply..
i can name the countless that would, if given the chance, those who count for so little, weighed against the many who perish in hellsfire and wasted moments they shall always regret..
if only there were more of the few..

i have this advice in the end
do not live in regret. take each moment of time, each opportunity and use it no matter how miniscule it seems, you may live to regret it
and if you don't, then i pity you for you live in a perfect sheltered world and have never know the beauty of sorrow and the sting of joy in your heartstrings
take this to heart and heed my words
take chances no matter how scary they seem, do take chances and believe in yourself..